Well, I have now been married 40 days and according to Biblical principle, 40 days is a period of time for testing. So here goes the test. First of all, would I do it over if it was still 120 days before the wedding like when I first started writing these articles? Yes. Marriage is not easy. Anytime two people live together and share everything together there are times of turmoil. I have found that there are certain places where married couples need to go to rekindle the flame, or to reclaim that which seems to be lost. Now I am not talking about a literal place necessarily. Some people think they need to go on vacations to "get away" but I feel that if the 2 individuals that are now a couple have a place in their respective hearts to hide then the marriage has a chance.

For my marriage we have chosen our loving arms. My wife, Debby, has a gift for crafts and has found several cards and plaques that espouse the importance of the loving arms. That is what we do. We hug. Simple? Yes! Effective? Absolutely. There is no place on earth where I feel more comfortable and more like a man and more alive than in my sweet Debby's loving arms. And she knows it. All she has to do is open her arms and I can't remember what I was angry about. Really. Because her hug tells me that everything will be ok. And I believe it. Now I know that when a woman hugs it is different than that of a man. Don't get silly on me. Listen, even John Gray of the "Men are from Mars..." books acknowledges there are differences between men and woman. Men want to fix things. When a man hugs a woman he is telling her "I will make everything ok". When my wife hugs me however I feel I can make everything ok. She believes it and so do I. And if we believe it? We can make it happen.

But I do have some advice for those of you who are thinking of getting married through, engaged to be married. Get the finances out in the open. ASAP! Talk about it. Tell each other your philosophies and ways to pay bills and your ways to plan on saving. Don't think for a minute that they are the same. Did you have the same parents? Well? We all can only go as far as we are taught. I was taught to sacrifice and save to pay all of the bills and when you have money left...Treat yourself and your family to something nice. Now, did I do that? Hell no, but it is still in me to do it. My sweet Debby was taught that life is too short to worry about money. When you get paid you make sure that you do something nice for yourself first. So now here we are with a small mountain of bills but we treat ourselves ok. I am freaking out inside, looking for a part time job and she wants to know why all of a sudden I am so cheap! Like I said, marriage is a work in progress. I love her. She loves me. The rest are details.

Back to her loving arms!

Alan